Newtown Tragedy Horrifies and Enrages Fordham Graduate Students

     When I learned on Friday afternoon about the horrifying school shooting that had taken place that morning, I was in the staff lunchroom in the high school where I work in the afternoons. I was actually writing a post for this blog, about a new dating website for graduates called "Gradhearts." I quickly scrapped that post, for obvious reasons, and began to read about the event on the internet.
      It was hard to not to be viscerally affected by the news -- with laughing students milling around in the school library just yards away from me, and having recently just practiced the shooter on the premises lockdown drill in this school, all of the teachers and staff in the lunchroom were barely able to speak, choking back tears.
      Later in the day, as information unfolded about what exactly happened, and how and why it could have happened, the GSAS community began to respond to the shooting via social media. The response was, at first, to express shock, sadness, and bewilderment. Most everyone used words like "unspeakable," "unfathomable," and "incomprehensible," in their responses on Friday. Many, including me, had an extremely physical reaction, feeling sickened, nauseous, ill, and/or shaky.
     That day, Father McShane released the following statement:

Dear Members of the Fordham Family,
Our hearts are broken today by the senseless killing of children and adults—we are not yet sure of how many—at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut.
Words like horror and tragedy almost lose their meaning in the face of such loss. The pain and sorrow of the victims’ families is unimaginable, and must be nearly unendurable.
I know you all join with me in prayer for the souls of those who were killed, and for their loved ones, whose mourning is only beginning. Keep the grief-struck families in your hearts, and pray, too, for the healing of their community, and this nation, from this most grievous wound.
Sincerely,
Joseph M. McShane, S.J.

     As the weekend wore on, more of us began to come to terms with how we felt about this massacre: enraged, furious, saddened, heartbroken, fed up, disgusted. More of us began speaking out on social media, together working through the arguments and ideas about gun control, the Second Amendment, mental illness, mental healthcare, violence, media coverage, American cultural values, and even religion, God, and faith.
     Tonight, President Obama spoke at an interfaith memorial service and prayer vigil for the victims, delivering a moving and inspiring speech calling for change. Many of us are now responding to this speech, too, searching for a way to make meaning out of the senseless horror.
     As a community, I know we will continue to discuss this, and I hope we will not only keep the conversation going but also be moved to action. I hope the GSAS family can contribute positively and constructively to this call for change in our social policies and cultural values. I give all my love, thoughts, prayers, and hope to the families and community members affected by this tragedy.
     The faces of the 6 and 7 year olds who died, and the faces of the teachers who died trying to protect them, are flashing now on my TV screen. It is too sad. I try to think about their families and I get sick again.
     I try to think about the survivors -- the children and teachers who were in the next room, or the room down the hallway, as their friends and classmates and co-workers were murdered. I am heartbroken for them, too.
    My job at the high school I mentioned above is to provide academic and behavioral support to one of my students with autism. I feel deeply, too, for him, hoping that the emerging coverage related to this tragedy about Autism Spectrum Disorder-- the disorder that makes his life so much harder than his friends' lives --  won't make people afraid of him or others who also struggle with it.
    More to say, of course... but for now, good night. -- Liza

Ode to the Study Date, Part 2

If you read the last post on the Grad Life blog about study dates, then you know that I firmly believe in the power of the study date to soothe the solitary scholar and build community. I've decided to share my ode to the study date. It is a list poem. Or rather, simply a list.  

 No, this is not a post about artichokes. It is an ode, like Pablo Neruda's Ode to the Artichoke. Only Neruda's ode is much, much better. 

Ode to the Study Date; Or, Why Study Dates Are Awesome

1. SOLIDARITY

I learned firsthand how having a lot of work to do for grad school can be stressful and isolating. Pages do not write themselves and not only can no one else do it for you, you must do it alone. For hours. The beauty of the study date is that you are not, in fact, alone in the work you have to do. Although you are still working independently, you are working with someone else. There is a friend across from you or beside you, peeking out from behind her own equally massive pile of books. She is chugging along, as well. You are in it together.

2. STUDY BREAKS THAT ARE ACTUALLY REFRESHING

Every grad student needs to break up the monotony of schoolwork with some relaxation. Unfortunately, when I work alone my “study breaks” consist chiefly of checking Facebook, idly sifting through my email, eating a snack, Facebook, snack, email, and then Facebook again. I remain glued to my computer. I don’t feel refreshed at all by the end of my study break. Rather, I feel that I’ve been procrastinating, which casts a shadow over whatever strides I may have made. But on a study date, the break is conversation! Chatting with a good friend or a fellow grad student who could become a friend is refreshing. I can step outside of my work and myself, and look away from the computer screen. The human contact is regenerative, and the conversation – whether light-hearted or serious is far more fulfilling than scrolling through status updates. After a laugh or two, or some much needed venting, I can return to the work with fresh energy and eyes!

3. COMMUNITY, COMPANIONSHIP & SUPPORT!

The merits of community, companionship, and support are obvious. When I feel stuck writing a paper, or overwhelmed by the amount of reading I have to do, it feels good to have someone there to assure me that the work will get done and I will be all right. (And of course, we all need to share about what’s going on in our lives beyond grad school! Even if there’s a paper due!) Moreover, it feels good to step out of my own crazed schedule to comfort and cheer on a colleague. Such is the stuff of friendship. We all need a pep talk or a hug sometimes, especially near the end of the semester or during tough times. And on a study date, there is someone nearby who can give you the company and support you need while knee-deep in Thoreau or anatomy or whatever else you might be working on.

There it is friends – my short and sweet list-ode to the study date. It’s not exactly Keats or Neruda, but it’s true and will hopefully lead to happier, more fruitful semesters for us all.

Grad school is long, and it’s essential to figure out how to balance grad school commitments with the rest of our lives. As I try to establish my own routines and rhythms as a grad student, I’ll rely on the study date as one way to keep me from living entirely inside my bedroom, my head, my work, and my self. If grad school can be yet another way that I forge connections with others than grad life is an even sweeter deal than I originally imagined.

How about you? How do you counteract the isolation that comes along with lots of independent study? Do you study with friends? Or use purely social time to create a sense of balance? Tips, questions, and ideas are welcome!

Ode to the Study Date, Part 1

Do not become this person. Study with friends to preserve your sanity.

“Many hands make light work.”

I am sure this adage was not meant to describe life as a graduate student, but it has become my mantra for Master’s. The saying applies to many kinds of “work,” including the tasks that are a part of grad life – reading, writing, and research. I have found that although no one else can do your work for you in grad school, and not all projects are collaborative, sharing study time with others can lighten the (academic) load.

Being a full-time grad student is a rare opportunity. At 25 years old, my job consists of reading, writing, and working towards an advanced degree. I attend class about three evenings a week, and I usually work from home, which affords me a good measure of flexibility and autonomy.

I can study in my pajamas or under the covers in bed. I can listen to my favorite songs at top volume. I can stop working whenever I might want to make a sandwich, call my mother, or go for a run (not that I ever do that, regrettably). If I begin to feel stir-crazy, I can leave wherever I am working to sit in a coffee shop, good ole Walsh, or anywhere with outlets and wireless.

Usually, I spend my days reading on my living room sofa and writing at a desk in my bedroom. I don't take full advantage of the flexibility in my schedule, but it’s great to have options.

Whenever I start feeling swamped by school or distressed because of a particularly long and dense article I have to read for class, I remember what a sweet deal I’ve got – learning and creating full-time under whatever conditions I deem best.

The trade-off, however, to this flexibility and freedom is isolation. Reading, writing, researching (and all the other more mundane grad student to-dos like Xeroxing, waiting for hundreds of pages to print, and scouring the internet for articles that aren’t on JSTOR) are solitary activities.

Knowing I am “living the good life” hasn’t always been enough to keep loneliness at bay this past year. At the beginning of my first semester at Fordham, I realized I could go days without seeing another person. I had enough work to keep me busy through the week, and I enjoyed my classes, so it was easy to fall into the work completely. I could work through meals, eating at my desk while I typed. Sometimes, I'd receive a phone call from a friend in the evening and become startled when I realized her voice was the first human voice I had heard all day.

Being a grad student was different from being a college student living in the dorms and participating in clubs. It was also different from working in an office with coworkers, a boss, and lunchtime conversation. My course of study was largely self-directed in grad schools. It was just my work and me.

Thankfully, I worked as a Graduate Assistant to a professor but even after the hours I spent assisting him in his office, I still had to devote the majority of my time to my studies. Having social weekends and evenings helped but wasn’t quite the solution to the isolation I was beginning to feel. 

By November, I was ecstatic about going up to Fordham on days when I had class. In class I could be around people. Talk to them! See their human faces! Brush my human shoulder against their human shoulders! Interact.

I recognize that some grad students might thrive in such solitude. I certainly enjoy time alone, and I do my best writing when I am by myself. But in the fall of last year, I became a grad-school hermit who never left her desk, broke bread with another person, or stepped out of her apartment during daylight hours. 

It was clear something needed to change. And then I remembered…

The Study Date!

I was a big fan of study dates in college, and I decided to bring them back into my life as a grad student. While it would take more coordination than it did as an undergrad, when everyone lived on the same campus, I was determined to make study dates a staple in my grad life.

I started meeting up with friends (and potential friends) in coffee and teashops around the city. We worked together at small tables, caffeinated and mostly in silence, but the company was superb. After a while, just planning study dates or revision parties made me feel like I was breaking out of my hermetic existence. 

How about you? Have you felt like grad school was making you become a hermit? Did you enjoy immersing yourself into independent work when you started grad school? Or did you miss the distractions and social interactions of pre-grad life? Please feel free to share your own experiences in the comments.

And if you want to read more about the study date and why it’s awesome, check out Part 2 of Ode to the Study Date. (Part 2 will include the actual ode!)