Fordham GSAS: Grad. Life: Top Ten Reasons That NY Rangers Play-Off Hockey Is (Only Slightly) Different Than Dissertation Writing

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Top Ten Reasons That NY Rangers Play-Off Hockey Is (Only Slightly) Different Than Dissertation Writing

Hi All! Hope you are all having a great playoff hockey season in New York City as you are wrapping up your semester teaching duties and meeting seminar paper/ dissertation chapter deadlines! This year, we have two area hockey franchises going head-to-head in the NHL Eastern Conference Finals  -- all eyes on hockey across the Hudson! In the spirit, here are my top ten reasons that New York Rangers Play-Off Hockey is (only slightly) different than dissertation writing: 
10. NY Rangers Playoff Hockey takes place in a huge arena containing thousands of people who are wearing blue, drinking beer, and waving (actual) white towels in the air, in the spirit of victory; dissertation writing takes place in a small, closed space, containing only one person who is feeling blue, thinking about drinking beer, and thinking about waving a (metaphorical) white flag in the air, on the brink of defeat.
9. NY Rangers Playoff Hockey is fast-paced and energetic, with players pain-stakingly whipping up and down the ice at top speeds; dissertation writing is slow and tedious, with writers pain-stakingly trudging through material and drafts at life-halting speeds.
8. In a playoff hockey game, there’s “a lot of dump, a lot of chase, a lot of hysteria,”; in dissertation writing, there’s a lot of cut, a lot of paste, and a lot of hysteria.
7. NY Rangers Playoff Hockey has a defense that the other team dreads facing; dissertation writing has a defense that the writer dreads facing.
6. During playoff hockey, you second-guess the refs; during dissertation writing, you second-guess yourself.
5. While watching a NY Rangers Playoff Hockey game, you may give a high-five to someone every-so-often. While writing a dissertation, you may need to borrow five dollars from someone every-so-often.
4. During the playoffs, NYR hockey players hope for lots of goals and opportunities; during dissertation writing, students have just one goal, and not too many opportunities.
3. NYR playoff hockey will keep you awake until midnight in agony because of triple overtime; dissertation writing will keep you awake well past midnight in agony because of the triple lattes you drank three days in a row.
2. In NYR playoff hockey, your first draft pick is a rising star. In dissertation writing, your first draft is a pile of trash.
1. NYR playoff hockey will be over at some point, but hopefully not until mid-June!! Dissertation Writing will be over at some point, but definitely NOT by mid-June….. 
Happy Hockey, everyone!!! -- Liza


  1. every one of these is hysterical and brilliant!

  2. You had me literally laughing out loud! Awesome!


  3. I have been really glad after reading this blog as the knowledge which has been given via this blog is simply tremendous.

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